Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I think boys and girls might be different.......

This photo was taken with my phone by William. He sits next to Jake in the car and faces him, as Jake is still rear facing in his carseat. I thought it was a great photo!

Since we've found out that our baby is a GIRL, I have been thinking a lot about what will be different about raising her. It's sort of a strange thought, as so much of my identity is wrapped up in being the mom to all these little boys. I know what to expect at various stages, what to ignore, what to correct, what to laugh at, and what to cry over. Of course my boys all have unique personalities, strengths and weaknesses, but there are some constants that I feel I can depend on.
One example: about the age of 5, we have worried with each of our boys that they need to get their hearing checked! Matt went from a very responsive 4 year old, to a 5 year old who seemed to not hear us a lot of the time! In retrospect, I think he was just discovering the world around him and was very able to tune out the rest of us! Will was the same way - and we actually did take him to get tested. Of course the test turned out perfectly. When my mom spent those days with my boys while we were in the hospital with Matt, she was very concerned and wondered if we have ever thought about getting Drew's hearing tested. We just laughed. Hopefully, he doesn't really have a hearing problem!

Another example, here is Jake with a little farmer doll my mom and dad got him for Christmas. He really loves the doll, but there is absolutely nothing nurturing about the way he plays with it!
Here he is holding the doll and reaching for something.


And here he is whacking the heck out of the doll with the stick to his stacking toy.


I'm worried about being patient and nurturing to a little girl. My parenting style is pretty militant, ("Boys, shoes, NOW!") which my boys respond very well to. They know we love them, we laugh and play a lot, but there isn't a lot of 'touchy-feely' that goes on. It's easier to get boys to open up over a video game, not a heart to heart sitting on their beds! There's lots of wrestling, lots of physical activity, lots of noise. I hope I haven't de-sensitized myself too much from girl stuff! I hope I can be sweet and loving to a little girl to help her feel secure.

On the upside, I think I've gotten over my weird feelings about shopping in the girl section! Yesterday I went to SLC for a doctor's appointment for Matt. We took Carolyn, and shopped a little bit.


I absolutely couldn't pass up this darling, fur trimmed coat ($12 - Nordstrom Rack), and fabulous shiny red Stride Rite Mary Janes ($8 - Ross dress for less). They should both fit her when she's about 18 months old, so Christmas 2010! Do you know how long I have wanted to buy shiny Mary Jane Shoes? (Oh, that and ruffle bum tights - I'm still working on that one!)

10 comments:

Cammie said...

first thing I noticed about that coat (cute as it is) is that it is BLUE. Go buy something pink. heehee

Em Russ said...

so I'm pretty sure that the hearing thing isn't unique to boys. I've been saying all day... "Lila, LISTEN TO ME!!" urgh!

And, love the coat! (And Cammie's comment made me laugh!)

alligood said...

For the record......
The coat is black. :-)
It has fur trim on the bottom, collar, and cuffs. It has red rosebud buttons. And, in case you didn't notice, it has a matching HAT! Oh, the joy of accessorizing.
-Allison

♥ Somebody Loved ♥ said...

Since I have six sisters...
yep in my family all girls.
seven.

We wouldn't have known what to do with a boy... I think since you are a girl... you will know exactly what to do with one.

Afterall, it was all girls for me and I figured out what I needed to do when I had boys.

I think you are gonna enjoy the shopping though.

ToOdLeS.ShEiLa

Christina said...

I think you'll do great -- once your baby is born, it won't be a "girl" anymore, it will be your child, a unique little soul who has her own personality. You'll learn what she needs and makes her tick the same way you did each of your boys. I love the outfit -- what a bargain!

Jessie said...

The coat and shoes are to die for! So dang adorable. And amazingly cheap - how do you find things like that? It always amazes me.

I have the same fears about raising a girl, and I don't even know what I'm having yet! If it's another boy, I'm off the hook for now, but if it's a girl, I've told Louie: "I'll nurse her and dress her, and then hand her over to you so as not to ruin her". He just laughs at me.

Also, I've seen that while girls and boys are different, they vary within the gender as well. Calvin plays very sweetly with baby dolls and is quite sensitive (no hitting, punching, etc). Milo also can be quite nurturing with a doll, but then starts throwing it and whacking it against the wall. In my family, it's my niece who's one of the toughest of the cousins (who are mostly boys) - so you just never know. But I DO know that you'll be fantastic with your daughter. You're Alli!

Katie said...

Yeah! Girl clothes! By the way, Wallie usually has a good selection of ruffly-bum tights. Children's Place has all their Christmas dresses on sale right now!

Malisa said...

It has been nice to have a peek into your life. What an amazing woman you are! Congratulations on the expectation of a girl. I have LOVED having one. However, my boys aren't very "rough and tumble" and can be overly sensitive at times. My girl is the toughest of all. Go figure.

I was so touched by reading about your oldest son. I borrowed the quote about adversity from your sidebar for a post I just did. (and linked to you - I hope that's okay). I will be thinking of your family often and praying that the future only holds good things. :)

Karen and Lew said...

Back when I was a Beehive advisor (all those girls have graduated from college by now), I asked Lew to help with an activity where he worked with them on basketball skills (most were very athletic). It was a disaster. Only 2 of the girls paid any attention. The rest just sassed mouthed him the whole time. Lew's analysis was this: (in non-parental leadership situations) boys will behave and follow instructions if you are intimidating and they are scared of you. Girls don't care. They will laugh at your intimidating ways and then continue to do what they want. Or they cry and make you feel bad.

stimpsonfamily said...

I have one girl and two boys, and I think that they are completely different! My boys like to wrestle and fight and shoot people with nerf guns, and my girl likes to snuggle, runs from the boys with the nerf guns, cries when they touch her, and is overly sensitive about everything. In a nutshell, she is a DRAMA QUEEN! My point is this... she will be completely different from your boys, but you will love the snuggles, kisses, and affection that she needs from her mommy all of the time! You will love buying her the prissy dress up stuff, painting her fingernails, doing her piggytails, and everything else that sweet little girls love!